After much consideration

After much consideration, I do not hate Darcy anymore. That feeling has been gone for a while. After hearing all of the good things about Mr. Darcy, I have a new found respect for him. Also, since he has been treating me so kindly and with good manners, I think that I have misjudged him. I never knew that he could be this way. A new light has shined upon him.

Finally, Mr. Bingley

I finally get to see Mr. Bingley since the Netherfield ball back in, what he says, the 26th of November. How very thoughtful and kind of him to remember. He must have been thinking about my sister, although Ms. Darcy does seem to be his second choice. I do hope that he is still interested in Jane. He has been, after all, asking me about his friends in Herfordshire. I think that he secretly wants to hear about Jane.

This was a bad idea!

It was a bad idea for me to come and visit Darcy's estate! He came earlier than expected and greeted me in a kind way but oh what he must think of me! First I reject his proposal and look at where I am, in his estate! He must think that I am being a cruel woman. I do not like this one bit. What do I do?

Can this be true?

I am here at Darcy's estate  and Mrs. Reynolds is giving us a tour. She is telling us that he is a good-tempered man when I thought that he was not. She is also saying that he is a charitable man who gives money to the poor. How could this be? This does not sound like the proud and haughty man that I thought I knew.

My blind father

Why can my father not see that sending Lydia with Mrs. Forster is a bad idea? Even though I confronted him and told him that Lydia is vain, ignorant, and idle, and that Kittie is going to follow her in her flirtatious footsteps, he still does not listen to me! My sisters will never find decent men to marry and it is going to be because my father trusted Lydia when he should not. Is it aggravating to see this happen to my own two sister!

Lovely Jane

I am entirely grateful that Jane is available to listen to me and give me advice. It made me content knowing that Jane did not think ill of me for rejecting Darcy, or for being prejudice against him when I did not know him. My sister is kind and very understanding, and I do not know what I would do without her. I can say that she is the perfect sister. But, I am still extremely saddened to see that she is still heart broken over Bingley.

Lydia's hopes

Lydia was hoping that Jane or I would come back married. Silly sister, little did she know about my little secret; Darcy's proposal. Her comment made me think that if I were momentarily insane and if I had accepted his marriage proposal, she would approve. He has money and for Lydia that is good enough reason to marry. I find it to be selfish. Anyways, I obviously am not too fond of Darcy, but after he wrote that letter, my feelings are starting to change towards him. Although Lydia's hopes are not fulfilled at the moment, I believe that they soon will be.

Having to keep secrets

Maria mentioned that many things happened in Hunsford. It is true and I am going to have to coceal those events from everyone. I highly dislike hiding things from people, especially from people whom I dislike and wish to tell my deepest opinions about them. That being said, I will not mention anyone's names. I have to focus on keeping the events ceoncealed from everyone even though I am so very tempted to tell Jane.

His Letter

After I finished reading the letter Darcy had given me, I thought that it was all a hoax; it was not possible that Wickham would lie to me. But as I kept thinking, everything fell into place! If I had known all along that Wickham was lying to me, I surely would not have befriended him. I am furious at him and at myself for being so naive! Not only was I naive, but also prideful at my ability to judge. I should have known better than to believe Wickham when he was merely an acquaintance!

Marriage Proposal

Darcy confessed his love for me. What is his mind processing right now? I never would have expected or wished for a marriage proposal from this horrendous man! He is arrogant and cannot think of anyone but himself. Just look at the pain he caused Jane and think of how heart broken Bingley must be right now. That is something that I will never forgive him for. I would not have accepted a proposal from him before and certainly not now!

Meddlesome Darcy!

How could he!? How could Darcy do that to my sister? Leading Bingley away from my sister is the cruelest thing that he could possibly do. My loving and caring sister who is in love with Bingley is now suffering because of Darcy. No one can understand the animosity that I feel towards him now. I know I disliked him before, but that dislike is increasing immensely!

Darcy and his odd behaviour

Everyday I enjoy a walk through the park and usually everything is very quiet and without disturbances, but I recently ran into Darcy on one of these walks. It was rather strange and unwelcoming since I am revolted by the site of him. I know we both dislike eachother but he persistently asks me questions that I have no interest in answering. Why does he keep appearing? I would like him to simply go away. I am going to have to choose a new route to peacefully stroll in if he continues to appear.